Insecurity

For those of you who follow me on Instagram (@wonderfully_wolf), you may have seen my question for Friday’s Faith Share Friday loop! If not, let me fill you in.

With starting my first “big girl” job tomorrow, I have found myself in a big ball of insecurity.

All of my previous jobs have been ones that were fairly simple and I succeeded at what I needed to do fairly quickly.  However, I am very nervous for my new job. As the Marketing Manager, I am responsible for implementing marketing plans, creating campaigns, and ensuring the entire campus looks exactly how it should with little help and guidance. Needless to say, I’m feeling a lot of pressure and insecurity about being able to meet the demands of this position.

I know that insecurity is a yucky feeling that can really shift my perspective in a negative way. When the devil keeps telling me the lies like, you’re going to fail at this, you’re not good enough for this job, you're going to let them down, it can be difficult to hear the truth from the lord. The Bible tells us that one of Satan’s greatest weapons is doubt and making us doubt our trust, our faith, our abilities, and ourselves is something he does best. However, Isaiah 54:17 tells us that no weapon raised against us shall succeed.

I had to take a long look in the mirror and into my heart and realize that being insecure means I am lacking a trust in God and in myself.  It also means that I am worried that my worth is found in my success in my career, yet I know that that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I realized that I need to trust God and understand that He has a plan and purpose for me within this new job. 

In my heart I know who I am because of who HE is. I know that I am loved and valued beyond measure and my career doesn’t change that one bit. However, it’s difficult to get my head on the same page. A verse that has stuck with me for a while now is 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But He said to me, my grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I decided to get a portion of this verse tattooed on my shoulder about 2 weeks ago without knowing the full extent the verse would take in my life shortly after. It is now an even greater reminder that it’s okay for me to fall short in areas of my life. It is okay for me to feel weak and insecure at times. And it’s okay for me to hold myself to a standard of grace instead of perfection, no matter how hard that may be for someone that is as Type A as I am.

I’ve realized that I have been so wrapped up in worldly views that I’ve been ignoring God’s views. It’s funny how worldly views are so different than Godly ones. How the world tells us we must be successful in the workplace to have value, that we must make a certain about of money to be happy and that WE are the only thing that matters. However, God tells us that HE is the one who gives us value, that HE is the one that gives us that inner joy that lasts way beyond the outer happiness of the world, and that HE is the only thing that matters.

I am so thankful for the faithful and encouraging women who responded to my question on Friday. These ladies truly provided so much wisdom and spiritual guidance that I felt overwhelmed by hearing God speak through them. Thank you so much to each person who took the time to care and listen and advise myself and other women through social media!